


Zland Randomness

by Karaoke-Kitten



Category: Zombieland
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-15
Packaged: 2014-03-01 07:17:17
Rating: T
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,077
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6151615/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2392695/Karaoke-Kitten
Summary: A story written by me and my 3 friends. Camy, Beka, Kelsi, and Shea are making their way as best as a group of 4 freaky teenagers can in Z-land. EXTREAMLY RANDOM, READ AT OWN RISK! Kelsi is written by RiverRush





	1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know, another story? But I'm celebrating! I have a total of 152 reviews right now! Woo Hoo! Most people would take a break from writing, but I love it so much I am always writing. I barely sleep anymore, just sit around and think up ideas.**

**Me and my friends, Kelsi, Beka, and Shea, are writing this together.**

**FACEBOOK NOTES MADE THIS CHAPTER! **

**OCs in this chapter!**

**Disclaimer is boring so I used altering letter sizes.**

**DiScLaImEr: I do not own Z-land. **

Camy walked through the street, with Beka, Shea and Kelsi behind her. She had the Mission Impossible theme playing on full volume on her iPod.

"Won't that attract zombies?" Shea asked. She and Beka were looking at Camy and Kelsi, sneaking through the streets to the familiar tune, as though nothing in the world could be stupider. In reality, it was, but it was also fun.

"Who cares? The more that come at us, the more we shoot, the less that come at us in the future." Camy's logic was strange, but no one argued. They had been awake for three days on one of Camy's psychopathic hunts. She would sometimes gather the gang and set off in search of something, and would never tell the group what it was.

"There!" She yelled, pointing to a parking lot. More specifically, a silver Jeep Wrangler. "THAT is what I'm talkin' about!"

"It's an Emmett Cullen car!" Kelsi noted.

"Which proves that he is the best out of the whole Cullen family." Cam said proudly before taking off. The others followed at a slower pace, not as excited as Camy about the car. Plus, three days of walking can make anyone tired. Except Camy. Her and her bag of sweets. She has low blood sugar, so she keeps a backup system, consisting of Twinkies, Lindor truffles, Hershey bars, etc. She adds more at every gas station and grocery store they raid.

"YES! THEY HAVE XM RAIDIO!" Camy must be near a crash, because that's when she tends to be the loudest. She held up keys. "I call dibs on driving first!"

-1 hour later-

"_Look at you you're a hot mess, st-t-stutter through your words breaking a sweat." _Camy continued to sing along to Kiss N Tell by Kesha, seeing as no one was awake to criticize her. "OH! PRETTY HOUSE!" She pulled into the driveway of a little white house. She turned to Kelsi in the passenger seat and poked her shoulder. Kelsi didn't react. Camy tried again, poking harder. Still nothing. Camy frowned. She stepped outside the car with a gun and shot into the air. Everyone jolted upright, looking around for zombies. Camy busted out laughing. "You…should…see….your…faces!"

"Oh look, we stopped." Shea said, looking out the window.

"YEP!" Camy yelled. "So… Let's go. I'm tired." She reached out and grabbed her candy bag.

Beka got out first. "Who's on first watch?" She asked. Camy grinned.

"Not me!" They yelled at the same time. Shea and Kelsi groaned.

**So… how was it? **

**Camy: I did not make any of that up. I really am a random person. I get the iGun app and play mission impossible as I run and tuck-n-roll around the house.**

**Kelsi: *laughs* That would be fun to watch.**

**Camy: It's fun to do :)**

**Beka: What the fudgenut was the shot for? **

**Camy: You guys wouldn't wake up.**

**Kelsi: I like guns :) the bigger the better. **

**Camy: I will give HUGE guns to reviewers.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fun stuff for randomness lovers :)****  
Camy: No one gets a gun because no one reviewed because you people are mean *cries* **

**Kelsi: You fudgers! How could you not review, I mean Im awesome, Camy's cool and Beka, well Beka can get eaten by zombies for all I care but...**

**Camy: Well we got bored so we updated despite your meanie-ness. **

Shea and Kelsi were asleep, so Camy and Beka were on watch.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes." Camy sang, swinging her gun around.

"Oph!" Beka grunted when the gun hit her in the stomach.

"Oopsy." She bit her lip. "I want a Hershey Kiss." She ran back over to her bag. A minute later she came back, crying.

"What?" Beka asked.

"I need more candy!" She sobbed. Beka face palmed.

"I'll wake up Kelsi and Shea. Wait, never mind. I'll wake up Shea. YOU can wake up my sister."

Camy smiled. "OKAY!" She skipped off. Beka shook her head and walked after her. A minute later there was a scream. Then a loud pop and another scream. The both walked out of Kelsi's room. Beka woke up Shea, which was pretty easy because Shea was a light sleeper, and they got into the Jeep. Camy drove again.

"_Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely wo-orld, she took the midnight train goin an-y-where…" _Camy sang.

They got to a Wal-Mart and Camy saw a smart car. She narrowed her eyes and grabbed her bat.

"I'll be back."

She began to destroy the car, ripping off the doors and breaking windows and denting what she couldn't destroy.

When she was done she looked at the others, pointed at the store, and spun toward it with a simple "Let's roll." The others shook their heads and walked after her.

**Camy: I frikkin hate smart cars.**

**Kelsi: Me too. Pickup trucks are way cooler.**

**Camy: Jeep or Lamborghini for me. **

**Kelsi: Review or I will send my man eating giraffe after you! Bwah ha ha! **

**Camy: *Grabs flamethrower* If you live that long.**

***Random hippie walks on to screen***

**Hippie: Dudes! Chill out! We all need to relax.**

**Camy: *sets hippie on fire* Stupid hippie. I'm fine. Are you fine?**

**Kelsi: Yes.**

**Camy: Good. Review. Like now. Seriously. Not even kidding. Click it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Cookiemonstergirl and ROSE'S TWIN get guns and giraffe repellent.**

**Camy: Sorry Kelsi, but your giraffe will not eat our only two reviewers.**

**Kelsi: Aw.**

**We do not own Zombieland or Wal-Mart. But I own me, and Kelsi owns Kelsi, and Shea owns Shea.**

**Beka: What about me?**

**Camy: Your sister owns you.**

**Kelsi: Bwah ha ha.**

**Beka: She does not!**

**Camy: We will end this argument now before the hippie comes back.**

**Kelsi: I thought you killed him?**

**Camy: *facepalm* Lesson in life, kids. Hippies. Never. Die! **

***Hippie pops head out of coffin***

**Hippie: It's true. The peaceful spirit lives on!**

***Camy beats hippie in the same manner as the smart car***

**Camy: The Camy Bat Method. Threaten your enemies with it! No one knows what it is….**

**Beka: Can we start the story now?**

**Camy: Hey! Who owns the laptop of awesome here?**

**Beka: *mutters* You do…**

**Camy: And who does the updates?**

**Beka: You do…**

**Camy: Exactly. Now to begin.**

"I am going to get my candy." Camy said.

"I'm going to the weapons." Kelsi said.

"Oh! Come with me and we can do both!" Camy suggested.

"Okay! Beka and Shea, you're on groceries. Buy… well, anything really." Kelsi said. "But _no one_ goes _fishing_ in the _goldfish tank_ again." She looked pointedly at Beka.

"Aw…" Beka pouted and walked off with Shea.

-Enough sweets to give someone a heart attack later-

"Oh. My. Candy canes." Camy said slowly. "IT'S A FLAMETHROWER! BWAH HA HA!"

"Okay… OH MY GOD! SWORDS!" Kelsi screamed. **(Camy: Insert facepalm here)**

"_MERRR….."_

"…Did I hear a moan?" Camy asked.

"…You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Kelsi asked. They both grabbed the weapons they picked out **(Flamethrower and the big gun for the slow people) **and headed to the source of the noise. Camy pulled out her phone.

Beka picked up before it had a chance to finish the first ring. "Find your candy?"

"Yep. And some zombies. By the front door. Come and get it." And with that she hung up and threw the phone to the other side of the store, watching it break. "Next time, let's steal someone's phone that's _not_ a Propel."

And with that, they opened the door.

**Camy: Oh the magic of cliffies. That was the shortest chapter ever. **

**Kelsi: *laughs cuz Beka don't get a special weapon***

**Camy: Ah the sisterly love is intoxicating. **

**Kelsi: IKR? :)**

**Camy: My sister isn't even IN this story XD**

**Kelsi: If she was… me and her would have some seriously good times… XD**

***Random teacher walks in***

**Teacher: *in annoying stereotypic nasal voice* She and I. **

**Camy: You can have this one.**

**Kelsi: *pulls out double swords* Don't correct me. I've had enough of this correction stuff. I will say what I want when I want how I want. Get the **** over it.**

**Camy: Same goes for flamers. *Grabs bag of candy* REVIEW AND I WILL SHARE!**

Kelsi: **pulls out double swords./** Bish... dn't correct me... i've had enough of ythis correction stuff.. ill say what i want when i want how i want... get the hell over it...


	4. Chapter 4

**Camy: HI! Been awhile… You wanna know what happened? **

**Kelsi: You don't. Trust me.**

**Camy: Aw. You guys are so mean to me. **

**Beka: What happened?**

**Camy: THE SCHOOL YEAR BEGUN! I have epic new friends now. BUT I STILL HAVE MY OLD ONES! LOVE YALL! **

**Beka: Okay… Did anyone notice how quickly she got happy again?**

**Camy: O.o IM TURNING INTO EMO ELMO (LOL inside joke)**

**Beka: …Who?**

**Camy: Never mind. She knows who she is. HI GIRL! LOVE YA! *eye twitch* DANGIT! *thinks about kittens* BETTER!**

**Kelsi: Okay… on with the story…. *steals laptop***

**Camy: HEY! *steals back and starts writing***

The four girls walked into the fight together. They had a sort of… battle stance, if you will. They stood in a square, everyone facing a different direction. Camy set as many on fire as she could, and Kelsi hacked away at them while they were burning. Cori and Shea took care of the zombies that escaped the epic wrath; including one that got a LITTLE too close to Camy to be safe. She has a tendency to zone out and focus on her fights. When the zombie hoard was dead, they realized they had trapped themselves in the Wal Mart by covering the doors with corpses.

"OH _COME ON_!" Beka yelled. Kelsi poked a zombie corpse with the tip of her sword.

"_That's_ not going anywhere for awhile." She stated. Everyone seemed pretty bummed. Camy, who had WAY too much sugar in her system to be healthy, smiled.

"I know what will make you smile…" She grinned and struck a pose. "LET'S GET DOWN TO BUISNESS!"

"To defeat…." Kelsi joined.

"THE HUNS!" They sang together, complete with a "HA!" and a kick.

"Did they send me daughters?" Beka sang.

"When I asked for sons?" Shea joined.

Camy stood up and pointed at them. "You're the saddest bunch I ever met, but you can bet before we're through…"

Kelsi got in her face and grabbed her collar. "Mister I'll make a man out of you!" They all laughed and finished the song happily. **(Camy: Lazy. Sue me.)**

Camy sat down. "Well… Now that we are happy… Time to load up on stuff!" She hopped up again and struck a super hero pose. "TO THE CAMPING…. Stuff…" She stood there awkwardly for a moment before taking off, the others behind her.

**Camy: Short, but I liked it. **

**Kelsi: Spontaneous singing… XD**

**Shea: Is that your song now or something?**

**Camy: Favorite song ever! **

**Beka: What about the Pokémon theme song?**

**Camy: O.o decisions…**

**Kelsi: Okay… Review while we help Camy get her sanity back.**


	5. does anyone even read this? AN

**OMG…**

**Long hiatus much?**

**Alright…I will be deleting this author's note as soon as the next chapter is written but I wanted to get a note out to my followers and favorite-ers. **_**(I love you guys, by the way!)**_

**Anyway, I need to ask you guys to go to my profile and vote on the poll as to whether I should write, re-write, or continue stories. **

**LOVES FOR EVERYONE!  
CAM**


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